How often are you wrong? Do you find it difficult to admit it when you are?
Submitted by emily ann.
In discrete matters, such as work or school, I'm often wrong and I almost always realize it quickly, sometimes even as I'm committing it.
Personal matters, on the other hand, I'm never quite sure whether I'm wrong or not. I like to consider myself a good judge of character and I'll often make snap judgments about people when I first meet them. While it's hard to quantify judgments like that as wrong or right, they often tend to have some grain of truth in them. The only problem is that my snap judgments are almost always negative, so I'm usually pleased when one of them turns out to be wrong.
The most difficult wrongs to admit are those to do with myself, life decisions and the like. Did I do the right things in a relationship? Did I say the right things to a family member that was dying? Was I emotionally supportive enough for a friend having a hard time? Those things don't really have a direct right or wrong, but I guess at some point you intrinsically know the the answer, whether or not you're actually willing to admit it to yourself.
What's one of your favorite quotes?
Submitted by Georgie-boy.
"There are many who find a good alibi far more attractive than an achievement. For an achievement does not settle anything permanently. We still have to prove our worth anew each day: we have to prove that we are as good today as we were yesterday. But when we have a valid alibi for not achieving anything we are fixed, so to speak, for life. Moreover, when we have an alibi for not writing a book, painting a picture, and so on, we have an alibi for not writing the greatest book and not painting the greatest picture. Small wonder that the effort expended and the punishment endured in obtaining a good alibi often exceed the effort and grief requisite for the attainment of a most marked achievement." - Eric Hoffer
Maybe I cheated. That's a bit long for a "quote", but I go through quotes like a heroin addict goes through candy bars. Plus Eric Hoffer never stops impressing me the more I read of him. This particular passage hits close to home since I am often more guilty of it than I care to admit.
I'm rereading American Psycho for roughly the fifth or sixth time. For some reason I always go back to it when I'm feeling disconnected. I'm not sure if it's to convince myself that no matter how out of touch I feel, it could be worse or that Patrick Bateman can be... Patrick Bateman and no one seems to notice. Either way it gives me faith that I can at least go through the motions of social interaction regardless of how alien it sometimes seems.
I suppose that to now say that this in no way reflects on any propensity I have for murder will be lost on most readers, but I assure you in that regard, I am perfectly "normal". I had an opportunity to get to know the twelve year old son of one of my friends the other day while they were visiting at my house. He remarked on my dog eared copy of the afformentioned book, as it was one of his favorites; I think more for Bateman's fashion sense than anything else. I also learned that "preppy" is the new "alternative"... or something like that. Those crazy kids.
Nonetheless, he had a fascination with serial killers, much like I did around that age, as well as most of my friends. I don't think that this is a symptom of morbidity or callousness of youth, but more of a reflection on how people cope with the social games we humans play, especially in adolescence. Serial killers usually are represented as two extremes: either full fledged monsters that only leave their blood stained lairs to snatch another victim or calculating, often charismatic chameleons that you'd never notice standing next to you on the street.
It's the latter that always interested me. Sociopaths have the potentially to be very successful socially. With no emotions to stand in the way of doing what's expected of you, human interaction seems like it would be all the easier. I could definitely see the draw from the perspective of a twelve year old kid struggling to fit in.
I feel compelled to disclose that what also got me on this train of thought was watching Dexter. That series alone has an entirely seperate set of moral ponderings. If you have a chance to watch it, I highly recommend it.
Ironic that the first random post I see upon setting up this account is Pros and Cons of Sleep Deprivation, which is what I was on the cusp of engaging in when I saw it and am now quite a ways into. I suppose I'll offer the counterpoint of a... like... old person to the mix. I think many of the differences hinge on my reliance on stimulants. Something I didn't have to do when I was younger, but now my body practically demands it for anything past 24 hours. This fact alone should probably be a big red flag with the words "STOP FUCKING DOING THIS" painted on it, but that's an entirely different topic so I'll conveniently ignore it.
Pro: loss of appetite saves food, meaning if I were to stay awake for two or three days straight, I would have that much food as surplus for when I'm back to sleeping like a normal human being and saved food means saved money
That definitely does not hold for me. If anything, the more sleep deprived I become, the hungrier I get. This may have something to do with my extreme reliance on caffeine, which saps the body of fluids, which in turn empties the stomach. I eat the worst when I'm tired. Mainly because... well, I'm too tired to care.
Pro: in addition to the productive hyperness, being able to take advantage of that focused creativity during the extra hours I'm getting from not sleeping
Yes and no. More often than not these days, I forgo sleep for obligations that are not my own. That usually leads to a halfhearted, going through the motions effort in whatever I'm doing. On the rare occasion I eschew sleep for my own purposes, yes, I tend to be unusually productive and creative.
Con: seemingly random aches and pains that have to be rubbing alcohol'd away
I get this occasionally. This particular episode is unique in the fact that I played around with weights on Saturday and my upper body is now screaming in protest after having a day to organize it's complaints into a nice little bullet-ed list represented by many and varied muscles that are involved in extending one's arm. The pro is that those muscles stay semi contracted during this period, so I feel much more buff than I actually am.
The other points I find either obvious or not applicable to me, so I'll leave them to the original post. Also, I'm lazy, for obvious reasons. I will add a few of my own though.
Con: Large amounts of caffeine make me extremely cranky. I've had suspicions of this before, but wasn't sure what to make of them, because previously caffeine made me feel better, or at the very least, normal in the past. Lately, probably because I've cut down quite a bit, it turns me into bitter son of a bitch that wants to randomly scream at strangers for doing innocuous things like coughing or just moving too much in my peripheral vision. God help them if they do something that would be annoying to me normally.
Con: No matter what the original plan is for my sleep deprivation, I usually exploit every loophole I can to bail from it early. Only dire consequences will get me to stay the course. Otherwise I just do what's needed and get the fuck out of there. The irony is that once I get home, I don't sleep, I just do those things I want to do again. Who needs emotional intelligence anyway? Sigh...
I'm trying to think of a new "pro", but I'm not having much luck. The fact that I'm still writing this and haven't just decided to close my browser and forget about it will have to be enough at this point.
I do have some Mei Fun on the way though. If that's not something to be happy about I don't know what is.
